Hello from a family gathering in Charlotte.
I re-read my first few newsletters and they feel a bit intellectual and impersonal. September’s email felt more real. Let’s see how this one lands.
This month: a parasite, a plant medicine invitation, why you’re not happy, and a crazy story about the wisdom of the heart.
🔹 Chronic illness updates and oddities
I flew to Charlotte to visit my dad but checked into a hotel after a clash with his girlfriend about my health-related needs. Chronic illness is difficult, but the social dynamic makes it harder. I’m using the extra space for writing and reflection.
Meanwhile, I have a new 1.5mm gap between my front teeth, indicating that my palate expansion is underway — step one to healing my sleep apnea and breathing issues. I feel relieved to be on a path to improvement.
Lastly, my six weeks of fever turned out to be a parasite. My medical mage Roberto in Mexico City diagnosed me just by looking at my tongue. Legend.
🔹 Revealing hard truths with Iboga: A plant medicine invitation
I’m co-organizing a small Iboga retreat, to be led by a trusted facilitator.
I learned about Iboga years ago but lately feel more eager to work with it. It’s a tree bark originally cultivated as sacred medicine in Gabon, Africa, known for illuminating inner truths with a clear and direct voice. Whatever discomfort may arise in the process seems a small price to pay for that kind of insight.
NB: This is not a commercial endeavor—just something that feels right. If you’re curious, reach out.
🔹 Why you’re not happy & other wild insights from attachment theory
I cannot recommend highly enough this interview on attachment theory with Adam Lane Smith.
Attachment theory explains how childhood bonds shape our behavior as adults. It has given me a life-changing roadmap for better relationships.
Some highlights from the interview:
- Folks with an insecure attachment style do not experience serotonin at healthy levels, and are therefore more depressed and susceptible to dopamine addiction.
- Smart phones are exploding insecure attachment. The parental bonding required to cultivate secure children is now constantly interrupted by phone usage. Then as kids age, bonding with friends is displaced and intermediated by dopamine-feeding social media.
- Modern society rewards repeat relationship offenders. Tribe life didn’t. If you acted badly towards someone in a tribe, everyone would find out, incentivizing maturation. These days, if you act badly, you can just find new people, rinse and repeat.
- Dating apps really do suck. Because secure attachers tend to link up and stay together, the online pool is mostly insecure attachers. Being more insecure, they position themselves for matches instead of relationships. They get a quick dopamine hit but repel the right people.
Listen to the interview and then let me know, what stood out to you?
🔹 Your heart knows where to go: stop complicating it
My friend Hannah has launched many businesses over the years, but none of them really felt right.
The truth?
Her heart has always called her to something wilder (keep reading).
But there was no clear business model, so she kept talking herself out of it.
Finally six months ago, she said screw it and started posting about her passion: the intersection of behavioral psychology and ancient mystical wisdom.
Last week she crossed 50,000 followers.
The business model? Still forming. But she’s lit a fire with a fast-growing following and the possibilities are palpable.
If your heart holds a pregnant desire like Hannah’s did, perhaps now is the time to give it birth.
And if so, I’d love to hear about it (even just one line).
Also, you should follow Hannah. She is a genius with a big heart.
That’s it for this month.
Love,
Taylor
📍in October: Charlotte, NC » Mexico City » Long Island, NY » Maine » Colorado